Im at strip club and am horny
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
