i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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