its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
