Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
