I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize