I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
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