Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize