A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
