ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
