Sry I called you an 8
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
