Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize