Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
