I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
