They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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