remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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