Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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