Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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