ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
