you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
