so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
ttyl tear gas
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
