Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
