brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
