just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
