Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
