I'm really into asian looking animals
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
