Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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