I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize