FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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