whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
