my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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