I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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