to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
