Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I want to walk on stilts...naked
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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