it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize