i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
