I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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