Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
