there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
