we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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