How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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