Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
