i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize