I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
