Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Everyone says I win the strip club
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
