i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
