you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I touched a dick in church today
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
