I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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