last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
