U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
