That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
