So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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