yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
