What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
