i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
