We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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