Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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