it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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