New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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