He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
