Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize