I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
