mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
