We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
In America we eat man semen.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
