We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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