If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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