At least make sure they are 18
Why
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
